It’s March and that means Spring is right around the corner! For many of you, flowers are blooming, the snow is melting, the kids are beginning to make plans for summer…there is simply something in the air.
And although the Spring Equinox isn’t for a few weeks, it’s time to prepare for a new beginning - a new start post covid. For me, that’s giving up a bad habit for Lent. A few years back, this was a serious game changer.
It was early Spring of 2012, and I kept hitting road blocks as a new writer. It felt like I was stuck inside my own head. I was worried about someone reading what I had actually written (strange huh?). I was freaked out, totally uncomfortable with myself and constantly second guessing.
It occurred to me I should give up my fear of the unknown. To this day, I remember sitting down at my desk and really asking what is it that I am truly afraid of?
That day, I wrote down three fears and never looked back. They were:
The fear of failure
The fear of wasting time
The fear of fear itself
I placed these in a make-shift fear box and sat tight. In fact, it was an old candle box I still have today. I kept thinking – if it didn’t work, it didn’t work. I could say at least I tried, but then something happened: I finally relaxed.
This month at KJMdigital, I have five reasons why you should give up fear this Spring. By doing so, you will open yourself up to more opportunities by creating a new sail to catch the winds of luck. Here's why:
1. You no longer fear The Great Unknown
When we launched KJMdigital back in March of 2018, I had no idea where the company would take me. I’m sure all new business owners feel this way. Yes, we love that excitement, that thrill of working for yourself, but the excitement is soon coupled by the fear of the unknown - a fear you must learn to curtail to become successful.
For example, a years ago I was in Las Vegas for a conference. I was speaking at the First Year Experience (FYE) Summit about how students can have meaningful first year college experiences purely online. I attended with two colleagues – one my boss – so I was a bit nervous. What would Vegas be like with my Dean?
This unknown factor could have caused me to miss out on one of the best conference experiences I’ve ever had. Had I not jumped in purely on faith, I would have really missed out.
In fact, I almost did miss the whole thing when we (cough cough) missed our flight to the conference. I’ve learned that things really do work out – if it’s meant to be, it will.
If you give up fear for Lent, you will allow the universe to guide you. This, in turn, brings new opportunity and growth.
2. You no longer fear wasting time
If the timing is not right, it’s simply not right.
Time. That’s what it all boils down to. How do I know if I’m spending my time wisely? How do I know if I’m wasting it? Before giving up fear, I found myself ‘skipping out’ on things to try and carve out time for something else less meaningful.
The anxiety of it all really started to get to me, and then I realized it was all about setting priorities.
Time, to me, is the most precious resource we have in life. It’s fluid – it slows down, it speeds up, there’s a limited amount, and we’ll never know exactly how much we have. I started tracking time, not through numbers, clocks, calendars and watches - but through books.
I’m an avid reader. Books keep me grounded; they help me create impressions, memories and new experiences throughout the year. They also tell me how much time has passed.
Now, after years and years of living in my home, I can look back at my bookshelf and see just how much I’ve grown. Those books over there – that was when my husband started medical school. On this side – this is where I started grad school. This is what I was reading when my dog died…
I use books to gauge how much time has passed – and this is also how I learned to prioritize and stay grounded.
That’s the kicker – sometimes we feel like we’re going, going, going. It feels like we’re floating instead of swimming. For those in business, it’s a strange feeling that can cost millions.
You may wake up one day and not recognize who you see in the mirror. We see wrinkles – what I call lines of experience – we see graying hair, we see tired eyes, we see reality.
If you do not have a way to tell time, these moments will scare the living daylights out of you. You may look at your kids and realize my goodness you’re not a kid anymore and wonder how did that happen?
Keeping track of life impressions – whether by book, by song, by experience, by people – will help keep you sane.
If you give up the fear of wasting time, you will enjoy the present moment that much more.
3. You no longer fear meeting new people
A few weeks back, I had the opportunity to speak with Luke Campolieta at Patchwerk Studios in Atlanta. We talked about...you guessed it – time - and for him, he tells time through song.
When we met at the new coffee shop just down the street from the studio, Luke told me something that really struck me.
He said, “I’m more afraid of time than dying.”
Mic drop. When he said this, I realized I didn’t feel that way.
Sure, I still get nervous meeting new folks here and there, but without fear, this nervousness becomes a healthy anticipation of something new.
Meeting new people can go two ways: progressive or regressive, and keeping an eye on where the relationship is going will help keep your boat in check.
You will always need new people to man the oars – especially if your ship continues to grow - and the first step in identifying a good mate is by identifying who is rowing forward and who is rowing backward.
When you give up fearing new people, you may make a new friend, and that new friend may show you a new world of opportunity.
4. You no longer fear losing loved ones
This one is a toughie. In March of 2017, I lost a loved one. She was a furry loved one – my chocolate Labrador, Summer. Sure, she wasn’t a human, but she was a HUGE part of my life.
When my husband put her down, I was in Portland on conference. We think it was cancer; she could no longer breathe.
When I got home, there was still food in her bowl. Her prescription we thought might help was unopened. Her leash was still hanging by the door. It was the saddest moment of my life, and it still brings tears.
But here’s the truth. I wasn’t afraid of Summer dying because I knew I was doing the best I could each day when she was alive. Now, years later, we have a new member of the family – Kona. I’m not afraid because I know I’m doing everything I can to show her she’s loved.
If you give up the fear of losing someone you love, you will be certain to make each moment count. Your present relationships will become richer, fuller, more meaningful and bright because you’ve come to terms with the truth: nothing – and no one – lasts forever.
5. You no longer fear failure
When I was five, my parents signed me up for piano lessons. I still remember my first class. My fingers felt too small for the keys – my legs too short for the pedals. My feet hung from the bench. I was a little girl, very nervous and very unsure.
Even by then, I was afraid of making a mistake, of not looking perfect, of doing something wrong. I remember throwing massive melt downs if my hair didn’t look right. I was an anxious kid, and my parents saw that during my first piano recital.
I had to memorize twelve sounds and perform them in front of a judge – all on my own. I remember the room was big and bright. I was wearing a dress and white tights. On the outside, my recital went really well. I don’t remember messing up, but on the inside, I know I was freaking out.
My parents tell me they had to ‘wring out my tights’ they were so wet with sweat. I was a nervous netty – my fear of failure had literally caused my little body to overheat and ‘sweat it out.’
Now, many, many years later, I no longer fear failure. In truth, just yesterday I totally goofed, and it’s okay. And I know it’s okay because where I fail in one area, I gain experience in another.
When you give up fearing failure, you gain meaningful experiences that transform you into a better person – one notch at a time.
So this Spring, why not give up the one thing that's holding you back? Try it out for a month. Test, reflect, grow, rinse and repeat. And remember, KJMdigital is here to help!
At KJMdigital, we serve the creative community both and online and off.
And the KJM Team works because our values align with what we value - radical transparency, autonomy and flexibility. We connect your business to your local art communities through our cohesive branding strategies.
Interested in learning more? Feel free to reach out at kjm@kjmdigital.com.